Disclaimer: This review contains slightly more TMI than usual with regards to my personal time habits and the like. If frank expressions of this nature in decent detail make you uncomfortable, don’t read on. Otherwise, enjoy!
When it comes to masturbation, one of the biggest differences in what can make or break a self-love session comes down to one thing: lubrication. Sure, you could masturbate without it if need be, but it’s not the most comfortable or pleasurable. Speaking from personal experience, a nice lube is all you really need to give yourself some insane, mind shattering pleasure. As I mentioned in my Pepee Lotion review, not only is lubrication a nice addition to your masturbation (try saying that five times fast!), it can actually be essential in ensuring comfortable penetration, especially with backdoor play.
Speaking of Pepee Lotion, to this day I am still quite fond of that particular lube, and I’ve been craving to find lube of a similar thickness closer to home. Most of the American lubes I’ve used or seen online are much too thin for my needs, rendering me unsatisfied and longing for the familiar clear bottle and orange cap I love so dearly. When I was browsing Astroglide’s website out of curiosity one night and saw they had a gel formula, my interest was almost immediately piqued. “Could it be,” I thought when glancing at the page, “a lube that’s similar to Pepee Lotion? In America?!” I was beyond excited when I saw that it was a thicker formula. Admittedly, prior to this review, I didn’t really have any experience with thicker American water based lubes. I only had experience with a brand called Shibari which I did not care for very much at all. Lo and behold, it turned out Astroglide’s site actually has a section where you can get a lube sample! (For the curious, you can do that right here.) Without a moment of hesitation, I requested a sample for the Astroglide Gel formula, waited a week or so, aaand… it came! I was eager to give it a try but ended up putting it off for some time until just a couple hours ago. How does this thick, gel formula live up to the thick wonder of Pepee Lotion? Is it even comparable? Find out below the cut!
My sample of Astroglide Gel came in a little sachet which I tore open. From there, I squeezed a bit onto my fingers, and I couldn’t help but grin a bit. The thickness is very similar to Pepee Lotion’s consistency! However, my first disappointment came when I pushed my thumb against my fingers after carefully spreading the lube across my fingers before pulling my fingers apart. This lube doesn’t really… pull the way Pepee does. Instead of there being a string of lube still connected between my fingers, there wasn’t really anything there at all. I pulled away only for the lube to sink back in place. For some, this is probably preferred. For me, this wasn’t ideal at all. Still yet, despite the initial disappointment, I pushed on and applied it like I normally would with Pepee Lotion.
Immediately, there was a borderline cushion-y feel, but not quite as intense as Pepee. In fact, if I had to think of how to describe it, Astroglide Gel gives a gentle cushioning feel due to its thickness, but when I started to slide it around, it didn’t really… move as fluidly as I’d preferred it to? This is honestly the part I’m still processing the most about my experience with my Astroglide Gel experience. The lube is quite nice if you like to just rub and stick to the outside (if you’re someone with a vagina). It has this lovely borderline plush feel without being overwhelmingly thick. It strikes a balance between the typical watery, thinner feel of most American water based lubes I’ve seen with the thickness quite well. I did have to get more lube from the sachet a couple of times throughout my session due to the lube drying up, and I adored how it felt when gliding against my skin with each reapplication. I did something a little different this time, something I usually would never (or rather, hardly) consider: I attempted to use this lube vaginally to see how it would help with any discomfort with penetration.
Full disclosure: I have not had the best success with this even with Pepee Lotion, but my most successful session involving vaginal play to any degree was with the help of Pepee Lotion and lots of deep breathing. While I didn’t get a lot of my finger in (just the tip, really), it went in much, much easier than without any lube, so it was a major success in my book. I considered this a little experiment of sorts. Just how successfully could I get the same amount in with a lube that’s slightly thinner?
For my third and final reapplication of the Astroglide Gel, I squeezed a generous amount on my finger, making sure to evenly spread it onto my finger before getting to work downstairs, so to speak. My first observation was how strange it felt when my natural lubrication combined with the Astroglide Gel. With Pepee Lotion, it didn’t feel particularly offputting or anything. In fact, I think it felt quite comfortable when I combined them prior to attempting insertion. But with this gel, it didn’t feel like a very natural combination at all. It was kind of jarring. The gel was thick, but it didn’t really combine as smoothly (hah!) as I would have liked. It was borderline unpleasant, if I’m being honest. If it were more fluid in how it moved around, so to speak, I think this wouldn’t be an issue at all. Finally, it was time for the moment of truth. Just how well would this lube make vaginal insertion more comfortable and less painful? My honest answer? Not quite. Taking deep breaths, making sure my body was relaxed as possible, I started to push my finger in ever so slightly. Right away I noticed how the lube wasn’t really making the process any more comfortable than if I went without it at all. It was very slightly more comfortable, I guess, but only by a slight margin. I didn’t get very far in before stopping due to intense discomfort. Also, for the record, I didn’t get as deep as I did with Pepee Lotion. Not by a long shot. Mind you, my attempt with Pepee Lotion went only slightly better; I got up to my first knuckle in before needing to stop. With Astroglide Gel, I barely got my fingertip in a couple times before deciding “yeah, this ain’t happening tonight.”
On the whole, I think Astroglide Gel is solid if you’re looking for a way to spice up external play to add new sensation to your rubbing. Otherwise, for penetrative play, I can’t say I’d recommend this, as someone who struggles with vaginal stuff. If that’s a concern for any of you, just get some Pepee Lotion if you wanna attempt the internal stuff. Your body will thank you and it will be loads more comfortable than this ever was. I will say though, this is far from the worst lube I’ve used (I’m looking at you, Shibari). I have mixed feelings on Astroglide Gel, and I’m not sure I’ll ever get it in a full size. It was fun to experiment with the sample I got though, so I can’t complain too much. Perhaps this lube just wasn’t meant to be with my body.
If you’d like to purchase this lube, you can do so here.